Lent money to a friend

Erum asked 9 months ago

As Salam o alaikum, I lent money to my friend when she was getting married. The biggest mistake was I did not have money on my own, I borrowed from a bank because she was in urgent need and paid her in return she committed, after her marriage she will take loan from her bank and settle mine. But she did not do like that, she made multiple reasons that she is not getting loan because her company was not listed or blah blah. She started paying me monthly installments which I was paying to bank. There was a part of the loan which I owed as well and the agreement was  that she will take loan from her bank for her part of the loan within 2 months of her marriage and I will settle my part of the loan as I did not want to prolong it. I cannot justify taking loan in the first place because now I understand how un Islamic it was and was wrong. She was working and earning more salary than me but she never paid me more than the installment amount but she incurred money elsewhere. She rented a one bed room house while I still live in sharing apartment, she bought all new furniture and set up her full house and started missing my payments. I kept paying and ultimately during the course of two years my part of the loan was settled. She used to cry to me that her husband is not working and she has to run the house so I used to make the payment. Meanwhile she got pregnant, for delivery as well she took a good package from a good hospital. I has several fights with her but still I stood by with her at her all needs. We are not living in our own countries, we are living in another country in middle eat on work visa. She lives with her husband with a kid and I live alone. In between I was having lot of issues at work and I wanted to leave job and go home to my parents and also get married since I am 33 and single but I could not go because of this loan. I have cried to her,begged her, fallen sick but they don’t pay.They keep saying they don’t have money for eating but when I go to their house, It seems they have everything. new toys for the kid, food, tv, furniture everything intact. I dont know whether they lie or not. I had taken a cheque from her 2 years back after 1 year of struggling with her,it has been 3 years I took the loan for her. When I checked with one of the friend who worked in bank to check her eligibility for loan so she can settle me, he told me she has several debts on her credit card, default of payments, cheque bounces cases. She is infact living illegally here because she and her husband both does not have a valid residence visa. She has not paid me any installment for the last 7 months and still 1 more of loan is pending. I have the intention of finishing the loan as soon as they pay me. Not she does not have a job for the last 1 and half year but her husband is doing some business but apparently not getting I money. I dont know what to trust and what not when they say what they say. They have lied or misled me so many times. Her husband committed me to pay me post eid but its been almost more than a month post eid and they have not paid me. 3 days back i went to their home because I kept calling them and they were not picking. As soon as I entered their house, they showed me bad face as why i came.  We started having very bad argument when they provoked me, her husband said do whatever I want, go to police or anything and I so wanted to call the police too but I know what that will lead is only putting them in jail because they are living illegally or may depot them and then their will be no means of me receiving my money. I was so heated that i started crying badly during the argument and I lost my breaths, i got a panic attack may be. For a while I could not breath and they gave me water. They both were arguing with me and I was alone with those two. I am already a weak heart girl, i have always been.I have been suffering badly health wise because of all this. My salary is not much, after paying the loan installment, my rent, i am hardly left with anything to make my ends meet. I have sold almost all my gold i had in the last 7 months to survive. Now I have nothing. Any extra expenditure make me go mad, I dont want to borrow so i keep selling whatever I have. I  have not been able to help my old parents back home with anything. My parents are very old. I don’t know what to do. I ask them to sign an agreement in the presence of witnesses as it should have in the first place, they keep denying that also. they keep denying everything just say they will pay as they will get it for which i message them daily. Most of the time, they do not even respond. I am very tired of all this, i am suffering from high blood pressure, I get panic attacks, because of this stress and womanly issues. My doctor has told me not to take stress but I dont how not to. I struggle every day with my daily expenses, 40 percent of my salary is going in the installment. My questions are 3 here; 1. Shall I just make peace with the situation and leave following up and accept this as Allah wills and keep paying installment untill they pay me and leave it on Allah to deal with them if they are lying;2. If yes to 1, how should i do sabr, i have been praying a lot but the girl has abused me a lot because of which i cant stop cursing her. my heart pains as how i helped her and how much she hurts me by saying all those wrong things and i fell like cursing her more though i know i should do sabr but i have been so oppressed and so wronged by them that i dont know how to keep my balance. I am getting old but cant go back home to marry, i cant do things for my parents and then she uses wrong language to me and shows me attitude. thinking all this just shatters me. 3. Shall I got o police and report them? Please help me with this, I keep getting chest pains and breathless, i have been very scared about my health. I have been praying in tahajjud and also begging Allah to forgive me, save me from this distress and help in closing this loan so i can save myself from more riba and punishment associated with it. I dont know what to. I dont even realize when tears start flowing down from my eyes, at work while driving. People ask me to have tawakkul, may be it is shaytaan that I am not able to find peace and relax myself. please suggest what shall I do. I am in urgent need of islamic guidance.